No sex, please: New dating site connects people who can’t enjoy intercourse
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Results 1 to 10 of Guy dating girl with low sex drive. Guy dating girl with low sex drive I've been dating this girl for a little over 9 months now. And I only recently discovered that she has a low sex drive.
Not only is she the first relationship I've had that's lasted more than a month, but she's also the only woman I've ever had sex with. For the first three months we dated, we didn't have sex as I wanted to make sure I was with someone I truly cared about, and I'm a little old school when it comes to sex. She has always been very open about her past relationships and has had sex with quite a few guys before I met her.
After the first time we had sex, we would have sex almost daily. After a while it slowed down to several times a week but was still fairly often. And from what she had told me before, and from how we were the first while I thought her sex drive was high as well especially since she initiated it as often, if not more, than me.
But over the last three months, I started to notice she radically switched. All of the sudden we've gone from a few times a week to once every two or three weeks. I was of course worried something was wrong, that she wasn't pleased anymore, that she was bored or even that she had fallen for someone else. So I brought it up a few times and she said that it made her feel like all I wanted from her was sex.
I don't initiate anymore because I know if she's in the mood she'll say something, and otherwise she'll just say no. I finally did confront her about it and kind of forced her to talk about it. She told me that she tends to have a very low libido and can sometimes go months without wanting sex.
I asked her about the first few months and things she had said that implied she had a high libido, and she told me that it was because she was afraid I would leave her if I found out she had such a low sex drive. I honestly feel a little tricked and sort of betrayed that she hadn't just told me earlier.
On top of that, it makes me wonder because from what she had told me from the first time she had had sex to when we met approx. I do not judge her for her past and hold no resentment about it, but I'm not sure if her low libido is suddenly out of boredom with me or she was merely doing the same 'high libido faking' with these guys and if so, why she had specifically said that some of them were 'just for their s' so to speak.
I really care for this woman. I love her so completely, and actually proposed to her which she said yes to. I really do want to spend the rest of my life with this woman but feel confused over this whole situation. From our talks, she really doesn't see sex as an important issue and I would feel like a horrible person if I left her because of it.
I just feel stuck at a crossroads. Any insight would be greatly appreciated. Sorry to hear this. It sounds like the infatuation is dimming after a few months, since it is a slow decrease. Women need romance as a precursor to sex. Cuddling on the couch, romantic dinners, etc. Not talks about "why aren't I getting any? It doesn't sound like she has a low sex drive if it was frequent in the beginning.
It sounds like she's bored with the relationship. You need to stop jumping her bones and bring the romance back. Also improve you technique and make sure she's being pleased too. You also need to slow down on the pressure and marriage talks. How old is she? Originally Posted by Hades [ Register to see the link ]. I try to do lots of things for her, like surprise her with breakfast in bed, we'll go out to the zoo or have picnics.
And pretty much every night I spend with her is spent cuddling and watching movies. I do feel bad for the times that I've brought it up but it's not something I bring up constantly and after the first few times of her saying no I just make sure that she is the one to initiate so she doesn't feel forced.
It's just hard about the whole technique stuff because as I said she's the only girl I've been with, so I always try to ask her if it's good, or what she'd like. But it's hard to know for sure because I know she doesn't want to hurt my ego by telling me if I was doing something bad. But I do try to make sure there is lots of foreplay and most of the time I'll pleasure her orally. The only times I don't is if she rushes it. But I know that this is still from my biased point of view.
So I'm not saying you're wrong, I'm just saying that I am at least trying As someone without much of a libido, I can relate to her.
I've been in the same situation. At first, we had sex a lot because, you know, it's the beginning, the honeymoon phase, the thrill of something new.
Although, I was never the one to initiate it, I wouldn't say no. But as time passed, it's not new anymore. It doesn't mean it's not good or that she doesn't love you. When you are someone who doesn't need sex, it becomes difficult because you enjoy being with that person but not always in THAT way and you feel that they are always thinking about that. Sex becomes something stressful. I discovered later on that I'm asexual. Maybe she is too.
If it's the case, it's not you, it's just who she is. I've been afraid too to lose someone because of that. It's not my fault I'm this way. Talking is very important if you love each other.
You can find a compromise so that the both of you can live with it it's possible. Now you know the score. This is what you are about to sign up for. Though I agree with Wisemans advise about appealing to a woman romantically, your girl has flat out admitted that she isn't that interested in sex all together. Can you live with this? It's an important question because you can't go into this hoping to change it and you are likely signing up for a lifetime of resentment on both sides.
Are there enough things going for this relationship that it makes up for where the sex is lacking? Some couples can come up with a compromise, some can't. That you guys are having issues only 9 months in the relationship could be problematic I think you should wait at least a year to know if you want to spend your life with a person.
Also that you say you want to spend your life with her but at the same time really have a problem with the lowered sex drive Do you really mean it? A relationship isn't all fun and roses all the time. This is an opportunity for you two to deepen your relationship and not just have it be about hormonal rushes..
I understand it's your first relationship and that can affect your perspective of things. Thanks for the responses. Apart from this, our relationship really has been fantastic and maybe that's why it feels like such a big deal.
I know that it may not seem like it from my original post but I do trust her, I know she is not the kind of person to cheat and if she is lying at all about this it's only to protect my feelings. If something happened and one of us got into an accident or something like that and something happened to her, I would absolutely stay with her.
I don't NEED the sex for our relationship to work, it's just that given our current situation I don't see why we couldn't find a compromise. I guess what I'm really asking is how I can bring this up with her.
Any time I've done it before it made her feel awful and made me feel like a pig, so I dropped it right away. But if there's something that we can do to compromise, or if there's something I'm personally doing wrong I'd want to know.
I know there's a way that we can both be happy with regards to sex but I'm just having trouble bringing it up in a way that doesn't sound accusatory and makes her feel happy about the decision and not forced into it. She's your first and only and has a low sex drive? I have a problem with achieving orgasm with women. Basically I can almost never climax with a woman or orgasm. I use to think this was a good thing cause women would say I would last a lot longer.
New girl , new experience Hey some of you may know me from my dealing with a crush post. Took some advice on there and went to some bars. Met someone first night and arranged. Is sex a valid reason to break up?? I dont know if this is the right section to post this but ok So this is my question.
Image Issues The other day, a guy said that my face was not as attractive as my friends face. That on a scale of 10 her face was an 8 or 9 and mine is a 6. Felt insulted by my Boyfriend - Too Sensitive or not?