Signs He’s Not Going to Propose
Would you rather be without him than with him because you wanted to be married at a certain age or because you've dated him for so many years Believe me I went through ALL of this before with marriage and now again because of you guessed it - kids Don't get me wrong I don't feel like I should be giving advice because my sitation sure isn't great but I'm telling you what we experienced Whenever marriage is brought up, something clearly on your mind, he gets defensive and deflects.
And you do change a lot from 20 to 25 years old. I knew my husband since he was fourteen, I went out and did a lot in the world at 17 and was forced to grow up quick. The key to any successful marriage is communication. I would suggest you look into premarital counseling. It was something we did and I think we faced potentially relationship breaking topics and issues through these sessions. By doing those, we had an easier time talking about things we were afraid to talk about before and had a third party to help coach us with communications and challenges of marriage.
I think if more people took these, they would save more marriages, or at least give both people a chance to really look at the choice their making and decide if its best for them.
Secret Confessions | 6 yrs, no proposal ;(
Bickering over stupid small things is common. My husband wanted to wait until he was graduated from college and financially stable.
With me having in between majors and him teetering on the edge of switching his, I had no idea when that could be.
I talked with my mother about it and decided to talk to him about it seriously. I know what I want and I get it. This approach worked for me, but a different one may be more appropriate for you. But anyway, I went up to my then-boyfriend and told him I wanted to get married. Now we ahd talked about it before and agreed we would get married. But I wanted a date set and plans to be made.
I had made up my mind that I wanted him to be the man for me for the rest of my life and I figured he had had the time to make his mind too we talked about getting married a year before and nothing came of it. However, I made it clear what I expected out of him.
Signs He’s Not Going to Propose | MadameNoire
Complete commitment or it was time for me to get out. Now the financial thing is just an excuse.
We had financial issues single and we have them now as a married couple. Finances are the biggest point of argument with many couples.
Men need to be the provider of the home. Express to him that you appreciate his concern for taking care of you, but you trust that becoming your wife will not deter him from that. Last edited by Mrs Chai; at Mrs Chai is offline.
When he says he's "not psychic" and cant predict the future, Im sorry, but that's a bunch of bull.. Does he need to be psychic to know whether he will for example finish getting a degree, or does he know what his plans are? Marriage is not something that happens to psychic people, lol, its something that most people plan for. The line he gave you is a way to cop out of any responsibility, its' out of his hands, because he's not a psychic.. Just go ahead and ask him, what his plans are.
I agree with other poster, you will need to draw a line, if he lets you walk, then it means he doesnt love you as much as you hoped for.. I have different opinion. You're still young, 24 right? It's not wise to push him to commit. It's not wise to push yourself to commit only because you feel insecure about yourself with this man. Don't jump into marriage because you're scared he won't propose.
Instead, you should seek independence. You would have lots of pursuiters so you can keep your options open. The guy you're with is not yet a prince for you to get married. Last edited by MsLonely; at I always tell my daughter.
She must study good enough for acquiring a strong profession with a very good career first, such as, a doctor, who works in hospital or a clinic. When her choice has some problems, never rush into marriage! Posted via Mobile Device. Quote message in reply? In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register.
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Remove Advertisements Sponsored Links. Talk About Marriage Advertisement. Lived together 4 years. Living a married life. I dnt Kno wat to make of it. Girl it sounds like your man and my soon to be ex are twins. I am in the same boat as you, only its been nine years, I am now considering going and moving on with my life alone, as when I talked about how I feel he changed the subject..
No kidding, he literally brushed it off. Some of the stuff is so subtle, yet spot-on when the author points it out. To a man a woman is sexy when she is happy.
Just let him experience your happiness with yourself, your life, your circumstances, etc. Then each principle is explained in detail. Book goes on to give advice on how to show a man that you are an interesting person. Start getting more involved in your OWN life. Just like a person may be conditioned by religion, you have conditioned yourself to feel like you NEED this man in your life.
When you spend that much time with someone, you tend to forget your autonomy and your individuality. The best modern relationships are those that offer a healthy balance of learning, freedom and teaching, so that you know how o balance being a couple and maintaining your own individuality as people. In this situation, I greatly feel you have abandoned your autonomy, you r self sufficiency and your independence for this notion, this ideal of marriage with this one particular man.
When relationships get to this point, your maturity rate slows because your life lessons become limited. The things you attract to your life become routine. And really shame on your boyfriend for not telling you what he really wants.
Why should this stop you from living your life? Sweetie, not all men are these natural leaders. In fact, a true leader boils down to the character of the individual, not the gender. For relationships to be successful, the woman should be a little smarter than the man, and always be a step ahead. If you really want to make this relationship work, you need to regain your self control, and find your individualism as whatever cost. Take up hobbies outside of him, join a gym, go back to school..
Maybe even get your own place and try to start over with him. He needs to know that you can live without him and be fine. Sweetie, YOU need to know you can live without him.
5 year long relationship no proposal. What should I do? - Talk About Marriage
Separate yourself and reevaluate who you are. You may be pleasantly surprised by what you find.. I have been in a relationship with a man for 3 years; we have been living together for the last year.
I love this man very much — we have been through a lot together and still we are in love. We have both talked about spending the rest of our lives togeteher. All that said at some point soon I feel the relationship needs to progress into marriage something I have been clear is important to me or I have to be willing to walk away.
I too have asked the same questions, why the hesitation? If he really loves me and can see us building a life together why wont he propose?
BTW I am 32 and he is If he cannot or will not committ with a marriage proposal by the end of living together for a year than I am pretty determined to move on. In fact sad to say that was the agreement when we moved in together. I didnt want to live together unless we were engaged, he didnt want to be engaged unless we had lived together.
The year long preengagement living together arrangement was our compromise. All this frank discussion and proposed time line certainly doenst feel very romantic.
Been dating 3 years and still no proposal? | Yahoo Answers
The truth is some of marriage and making a committment is about pracitality. You may love the hell out of someone but if they live across the world, never to return, a long distance marriage may not be realistic.
At times I am forced to be realistic. If our timelines and readiness does not match up soon I may need to go my seperate way. Is that so bad? It does not mean that I do not love him, I love him very much, but I honor and love myself too and I know that I will likely harbor resentment if I wait too long beyond when I have been ready.
Ultimately if he loves me and really wants to be with me like he claims he will step up and make a serious committment to me, he will bite the bullet even if it is out of his comfort zone. If he needs to honor himself and cannot tolerate the ultimatum to make that committment than I have to respect that. I will have to find comfort in that we both did what is best for ourselves and ultimately for each other.
Love and marriage is never a sure thing but there does come a time when one needs to take a leap of faith, go with your gut and hope for the best, that being either leaving an unfufilling relationship or taking the plunge and getting married.
I did the waiting game… Dated for about 9yrs from when I was 27, he finally proposed when I was 38 because I told him I was moving on and why! The proposal was over my tears during the rant and not how I dreamt or hoped. I got what issued for and as they say, be careful! He believes in marriage before kids!
Now I told him if he wants to marry he will do all the planning and I have to approve plus I am not paying! Not a terribly good start but if he truly wants me and all I get is to take care of an aging man why should I put up with anymore grief? My advice is plan your exit strategy so your not left feeling bitter when you are ready to move on! Keep all ur friends, work it, find what u love and do it! Keep dating others and do not have sex! I agree with what most people have written here.
You are willing to leave him if he does not marry you. Technically that is a conditional thing, not unconditional. Unconditional love does not necessarily equate to unconditionally tolerating unfair, dismissive or abusive behaviour.
I can understand loving someone unconditionally, but also loving yourself enough to walk away when you are not being treated well or getting what you need out of the relationship. I have been together with my boyfriend for 6 years. All he said is that he needs time to think? I figured that I would give him about two weeks to approach me with some of his thought process. I think it may be time to say goodbye. I like all of you have been in a 6 year relationship.
I have discussed with him what I expect as I am older. I have grown children and so does he, in fact he is 5 years older than I and says he is commited and loves me very much,he knows what I want yet nothing. I told him we are always going to owe someone something and I have no intention on doing this for a 7th year. He does take very good care of me, but marrage is important to me! I do love him and he says he loves me! I will leave if by the end of our 6th year he does nothing and I have told him that.
Is there any help for me? Two years an no commitment. He says he is committed, not sure in what way to him. Never wants to talk about it. Youre just a jerk and will probably be single all of your life…You only believe in true equality because you dont have the desire to be a true provider in your family..
Sounds to me that you need to get real my friend.. I have now been with my BF for 9 years and still no ring. We own a house together and have 2 dogs.
I want children but that window is starting to close as I approach the magic age of 35 and he knows that.
He is sweet, honest, trustworthy, loving, caring but scared.
Chat or rant, adult content, spam, insulting other members, show more. Harm to minors, violence or threats, harassment or privacy invasion, impersonation or misrepresentation, fraud or phishing, show more. Sorry, but I do agree with your family. What if you wait another 3 years If not, you have wasted 6 years. Dating For Three Years. Well first thing I think you should sit down with him and have a straight forward mature conversation. Explain to him you love him, and there is nothing that is holding you back like 1 not dating long enough 2 not good jobs 3 still in school 4 age.
Say to him as well that since you are 28, a year engagement, you two would get married until you are 29, and if you wait a year or two to have children, thats Just talk to him Even if you do find someone else, you would still be in the same situation of having to wait years before he proposed.
My husband and I dated for 4 years before he asked me to marry him. I'll be 29 soon and we just got married. Never did I bring up marriage before he asked. You give him an ultimatum he's surely going to be upset about it.
If you feel as though you are ready and he is not then you need to leave. Otherwise I would stick it out with him, you've been with him this long what difference is it to be married or not. Maybe you should take the step of moving in together first. This Site Might Help You. Been dating 3 years and still no proposal? My boyfriend and I are both 28 years old and have been dating for 3 years. We do not have any children, and do not live together and we both have university degrees and have stable jobs.
When we started dating we both said we wanted to get married and have children. I have asked him on a few He doesn't have to propose NOW, but he should at least be willing to give you a firm time frame. At least you didn't make the mistake of moving in with him! Ultimatums are a bad idea. Who wants to get married under the threat of "Marry me or else? You should also ask him, "Do you really think I'm willing to wait around forever? Tou are right in questioning his intentions.
Do not even encourage his behavior. Find your inner values, and morals. Regain your self respect, and tell him straight out. Your body is completely off limits until you have a wedding ring on your finger. You are lucky if he actually is still talking about a wedding, but remember that you have already given him what he wanted.
He had sex, a woman to call his, and now a child. You gave hime all of that without any commitment, and most guys will bail on you at some point after getting the things you have given to him. A lot of guys live with the theory, "why buy the cow when the milk is free". Simply that means if she will sleep with me without being married, why should I marry her. Make him stand up and be a man, or kick him to the curb. You deserve better than this, and so does your child.
I dated a guy for 2 years and he couldn't decide. Met another guy, dropped Mr. I think you need to find someone else. Three years is definitely time enough to know. The fact that you want children means I'd not wait another minute of my time on this guy. Don't give him an ultimatum - just end it now.
Tell him you've decided to move on and find the man who will marry you and begin a family with.. Sometimes you have to change the life you planned, in order to find the life you were meant to live. You have spent 3 years together, are both old enough to marry, educated, and with good jobs. What exactly is he waiting for?
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