Best Questions To Ask A Potential Love Interest
А теперь - за работу. Дэвид Беккер исчез, но это ненадолго.
Если Танкадо не понял, что стал жертвой убийства, зачем ему было отдавать ключ.
Беккер все же надеялся, что в клинике осталась какая-то регистрационная запись - название гостиницы, где остановился пациент, номер телефона, по которому его можно найти. Он в последний раз взглянул на Клушара.
When I was dating I remember constantly being smothered with that giant question like a bloated bear was sitting on my head, refusing to move.
That was the point of dating right? To magically stumble upon The One like finding the gold at the end of a rainbow that is being carried by a unicorn with leprechaun jockey. But how are you supposed to know which one is the right one?
How are you supposed to lasso that magical unicorn before it flies away? Marriage is like rolling Play-Doh, the more two different colors are meshed together the harder it becomes to distinguish one from another.
In marriage you begin to rub off on each other, subtly taking on traits and characteristics of the other. Does this thought excite you or does it make you feel like you just digested a can of the before mentioned Play-Doh?
Yes in marriage you still are your own person. And you need to have your own identity beyond your spouse. One of the biggest lies of our culture is that attraction is solely about appearance.
If you can just get your hair, abs, complexion, and clothes just right, then The One will scamper to you like a squirrel to a nut factory. However, attraction runs much deeper than looks. And unsuccessfully trying to catch up. We all have values that direct us and help us make decisions — problem is most of us have never articulated what those values are. Not all values are the same and sometimes you can have two very good people with very good values, but those values can feel at war with each other.
Both values are good, but if not articulated and discussed it could be a point of high conflict if the responsible person likes consistency and persistence, while the risk-taker likes changing things up and going for the impossible. Take me for example, one of my core values is authenticity. I struggle being in a job, friendship, situations, etc. Thus my career path has been anything but straight-forward, which could drive any sane person crazy.
Thankfully, my wife has been very supportive because she knew this was the way I was wired from the beginning and it aligns with her core beliefs, as she enjoys change and pursuing things off the beaten path. Are you fitting and conforming to some abstract idea of what you think they want? Or are you blossoming and flourishing into who you really are? Is your partner trying to force you to become like some figment of their unrealistic dating imagination?
Or are they challenging you to become a better, authentic you? Not trying to change you, but trying to bring the best to the top. However, for many of us our fallback communication plan will be the one our parents laid out for us. Holidays, especially, are giving you a glimpse into how your partner has been taught and trained. Your partner can look and smell like a rose, and yet continue to prick you with their sharpened barbs.
Does your partner seek out ways to understand how you receive love and meet that need? Do you do the same? When someone loves from their strengths they know who they are and are drawing from a deep, full well to give to you without demanding a drink in return. Honestly, going into marriage with my wife I really struggled talking about money. I let money and the honest conversations about it become a wedge in my relationship. Conversations about money can be the great time bomb in a relationship.
When you think about your future together, can you list three things that you think would be excruciating to let go? Identify what you feel are non-negotiables now so you can avoid any large, gaping ravines ahead. Does religious faith play a role in your present and do you want faith to play a role in your future? What do you truly believe about how to live your life and what happens when you die?
Weighty questions, I know, but important ones. I really believe that if there are large differences in your faith now, those will only become bigger and more cumbersome as your relationship progresses. Especially when kids come into the equation. How will you raise them? What do you want them to believe? Like that yearbook from our awkward years, we all have things we hope our partner will never lay eyes on. And marriage has the amazing ability to take all that you hoped remained hidden, and put it on stage for a nationally televised interview that your in-laws will be watching.
Begin to ditch those bags now. Marriage is budgets, laundry, broken toilets, work, weddings, funerals, births, and everything in between. Because marriage is built on a million more mundane moments than magical. How do you envision marriage after 10 years? Are you traveling the world with your spouse? Do you have three kids encased in white picket glory? Are you both working corporate jobs? Are you doing missions work in a different country?
Do you have six kids and are driving a bus across the nation to perform a family rhythmic gymnastics routine at county fairs? Your plans, goals, and ideas of the future change—but people who refuse to talk about it rarely do. But with what you know now after going through these questions, can you sit down together and write a vision statement for your relationship?
What will be the goal of your relationship beyond just your relationship? Who and what will you impact together? What question resonates with you the most?
I think everyone can relate — me personally, 5 and 6 are things I deal with in my relationship. I have been dating a guy for almost three years. Hes alost 29 and Has no known career goals, and never wants to talk about his future goals.
You made some really great points that I think are often overlooked in articles which strive to help you understand the health of a relationship. I sometimes get overwhelmed because I read these and want to be intentional, but how do I communicate it with my significant other?
Any thoughts on how to communicate with him without seeming forceful or manipulative, because that is not my intent at all! This article helps anyone wanting to pursue a healthier and realistic relationship. Thanks for being so real, insightful, and honest. Thank you so much for this article, this was something I really needed.
You really hit the nail on the head with so many of the problem areas that arise. Intentional communication and the understanding of how to discuss these things early on will allow many years of a healthier relationship.
I did just have one comment though. Coming out of a very unhealthy family myself, I have learned so much more about who I am and what my beliefs are on communication. I know exactly what I do not want for my future family and I have been taking active steps to make my future different than my past.
It would be unfortunate for my dating partner to view my childhood as an indication for what my future will be like. Thank you for the post!!! Awesome Cassiti and extremely well-said! Loved hearing your perspective and your wisdom. We all have monsters in the back of our closets. Definitely important to face them now so we can limit how wild they run that first year of marriage.
I have a question. My girlfriend and I love each other very much but she does not like physical contact. She will not stand close to me let alone touch me and openly says she does not like contact. This is bad because I however love contact such as a hug , I am in grade 8, what do I do? Searching for Self, Faith, and a Freaking Job! And free chapters from my debut best-selling book Secrets For Your Twenties.
Enter your email below and then check your email for instructions. Like advice from a wiser, funnier, older brother Paul's been there, done that, and wants to save you some pain and some trouble. Paul Angone — All Groan Up. These are amazing questions! I just wanted to say I SO needed to read this.
Tori, thank you for your comment. Looking forward to connecting more and being a resource. Sharing with the our Young Adults group.
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