Study: Online Dating Causes People To Lower Their Standards
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I don't recommend anything that I have not used personally or believe in. Starting in ish, I finally reconciled my ego with my undersexed reality and "lowered my standards". I started getting more action and was slowly able to increase my standards almost back to where they were to begin with. There's a general consensus that inexperienced guys should 'lower their standards' in order to gain confidence and sexual experience. That newfound confidence and sexual experience will translate into more, hotter pussy at a later date.
Yet, asking people to 'lower their standards' on any subject, in any capacity is almost always met with resistance and demand for better alternatives. This is because our "standards" and preservation of ego are directly tied to our pride and self-worth. To some, suggesting that they should 'lower their standards' is insulting and the last thing they want to hear - even though they know it is temporary and very beneficial in the long-run. I'm going to discuss the "how" of this 'lower your standards' subject so you can find a happy-medium, start to have fun and gain experience with the 'not-your-ideal' girls that are already interested in you.
Those long lonely dry spells and Lonely Saturday Nights in college took their toll. At age 25, with undergrad largely in the rear-view mirror, I began to confront the reality that repeatedly transferring colleges and my no-life bodybuilder lifestyle left me socially and sexually inexperienced and no amount of "lifting weights" was going to fix that.
It is my biggest regret. I told myself that anything less than a really hot girl probably couldn't even turn me on and there would be no point in even trying to get her in bed. I wasn't necessary wrong, I remember average looking girls would throw themselves at me in college. After all, I was Good Looking Loser -.
I need to tell this average looking girl that I need to wake up in the morning so she leaves I was a nice guy and I simply cared too much what other people thought of me. I didn't want other people to see me with a girl who wasn't my equal in looks, because it would suggest that I was underachieving.
I didn't want to see myself with a girl who wasn't my equal in looks, because it would confirm that I was underachieving. As I'll discuss in a bit, if you are emotionally healthy I was not , hooking up with "lesser girls" can be fun and fantastic for your ego, if nothing else.
You'll get compliments from one-night stands with average girls that significantly hotter girls would probably never tell you.
These compliments, however superficial or possibly exaggerated, will help build your confidence. Sleeping with women that don't quite meet your standards does not reinforce your inferiority complex. EVER, long dry spells and being a little bitch reinforces your inferiority complex. While your "new standards" are completely up to you, the less selective you are - the faster you will move with ALL girls.
Knowing you can Get Laid , even if it's just with average girls is incredibly powerful. Most guys never reach anywhere near that level of entitlement.
While a lot of guys say they can Get Laid "anytime they want", in reality - most know they need a girlfriend to Get Laid. Vintage Good Looking Loser But what feels like stagnation is almost always progress, so long as you are really trying to get better. Although I didn't know it at the time, this is exactly how it feels for most guys who stick with it.
Then 'quantity' and 'quality' both come a year later. Alex discusses an almost identical progression , that's how it happens.
Most guys say they want to Get Laid more, but they don't put in the time. Just talk to 2 or 3 chicks a day and ask each of them out. If that's too hard, get on an online dating site and follow this exact procedure that Rooster has spelled out. The pussy will come. For the first 25 years of my life, I wouldn't talk to girls that didn't meet my standards and was too scared to talk to the girls that did. I might have gone all 6 years of college without hooking up with a single fucking girl.
I still managed to have an average sex life though. Aside from some drunk girls on Spring Break or Beach Week trips, in my early 20's, I moved very slowly with girls. If I temporarily lowered my standards instead of taking pride in being selective and not Getting Laid, I could have gained plenty of valuable experience that would have been super useful when I came across random hot chicks that already liked me. If nothing else, temporarily lowering my standards would have given me far more options and I wouldn't always get so emotionally attached so quickly every time I met a hot girl who liked me back.
But "lowering my standards", like so many other too-cool-for-school something guys with a lofty Sense of Entitlement, was just about the last thing I was willing to do.
In fact, I took pride in having high standards and not Getting Laid. I was the type of guy who would point when one of my friends especially if he was good looking hooked up with a girl who wasn't attractive. In my case, I couldn't bring myself to 'lower my standards' because I looked at it as a direct hit to my pride and image, something that took years to build. The reason that many of you haven't been Getting Laid much has nothing to do with your "looks", "social freedom" or "I'm not good at Screening yet".
Essentially, most guys especially around here, who are already attractive enough are turning down the women that already are interested in them. It's not just a 'high standards' thing, they just have no idea how easy it would be to Get Laid with an available girl who knows you are hotter and cooler than she is. I have a pretty good idea who the average Good Looking Loser reader is - I know because I was you just years ago, plus we have hidden robots that tell me.
Most guys on here don't have any glaring weakness, certainly none that they can't overcome and most should already be Getting Laid. Guys that are good at this stuff will sleep with 1 or 2 universally hot or attractive girls in a month. Most of the chicks that they sleep with are slightly above-average because the majority of girls that are single, dress up and go out are slightly above-average. That how it is for every single one of my friends that fuck girls outside their social groups via cold approach.
Despite Internet claims, I have yet to meet a guy that "only hooks up with super hot girls" on a regular basis via cold approach. You can accept this now, lower your standards and start having sex with average girls.
Once you break into the super hot pussy tier, you'll find that many of the hottest girls will simply just lay there during sex, especially when you fuck them the first time. It's their nature to be feminine and just let you lead. Very few are naturally proactive, especially the first time you fuck.
Most were probably more concerned about how they looked naked and what I thought of their naked body , than actually having good sex. Some of them just weren't very experienced because they are super selective in which guys they fuck. Some have only had asexual nice guy boyfriends that didn't "train" them in the bedroom.
Many really hot girls will make no effort to please you even if they knew how and feel that giving up their pussy is more than enough.
The first time with a new girl is exciting but - hot or not - the really good sex happens when both parties are more comfortable with each other. Some girls will take immense pride in getting you off and will blame themselves for 'not being hot enough' if you don't look like you really enjoyed their pussy. Closer-to-average girls tend to give way better blowjobs and are more willing to give you compliments on your looks, performance and any endowed body parts that you may have dangling around.
Also, closer-to-avearge girls are often more willing to be experimental and kinky on the first night and they are generally easier to keep around. Many closer-to-average chicks know that it's unlikely that they are going to keep you or turn you into a boyfriend , so they don't worry as much about "being slutty" when they fuck you for the first time.
Some of my absolute best first time experiences were with average girls who had no reservations about sitting on my face, covering me in their disgusting cigarette smoke while I fucked them, deep throating my cock with tears in their eyes and indulging my other shameless regular semi-weirdo fetishes. A buddy that I used to party with would tell me that he got a total power trip from looking in the mirror and watching a lesser-attractive girl lick his ass but that he'd never try that with a hotter girl on the first night.
If you want to do some kinky shit in bed that you've never done before or weird stuff that you'd only try in a relationship - try it on a closer-to-average 'low-risk' girl. If she isn't down or leaves - who really cares. If an average girl likes you and knows you are a 'catch', she'll want to please you and likely be "amused" exact word I've heard over-and-over by your requests and fetishes.
I wouldn't have to only masturbate to my kinky fantasies, many average girls would have gone along with it from the start. In the moment, I can get just as turned on by doing this kinky shit with closer-to-average girls as I do by having basic intercourse with closer-to-perfect girls. The best of both worlds is doing kinky stuff with hot girls who aren't your fuckbuddies on the first night - but that's not always doable. I'm not going to argue that sleeping with an average looking girl is going to do bigger things for your 'Sense of Entitlement' confidence as fucking a really hot girl.
Closer-to-average girls will relentlessly feed your ego if they know that you are 'above' them in the status quo. When you haven't been Getting Laid much and aren't very confident with the opposite sex, hearing these superficial things will do wonders for your confidence, even if from an average-looking chick. Sometimes, the confidence boost will be as much as if you fucked a hotter girl who just laid there silently.
Some of the most lasting, nicest, genuine, most ego-inflating compliments came from girls that I wasn't super attracted to. I will remember many of these for the rest of my life because I was insecure at time. Everyone needs to feel they are actually special, even if it's just from a random stranger who isn't beautiful. Hearing that you are special and have sexual power over someone is incredible when you aren't too sure of yourself.
Don't disqualify girls just because you don't want to sleep with them as much as they want to sleep with you! Besides stating the obvious, "sleeping with girls is good practice! Before I knew better, I literally thought I wouldn't be able to get and hold an erection with a girl who didn't meet my standards. Even if you aren't initially attracted to a girl, so long as you aren't grossed out - you will be able to get and hold an erection so long as you go through the motions and your dick is stimulated.
Especially if you take Cialis , you'll get an erection even if you aren't really that turned on. Like I said, so long as you aren't grossed out, you'll be able to perform once you get in the moment. But instead of waiting for this to happen, you should actively scope out the 'best feature' on girls. While you might not be able to do this when the average stranger walks by, it is super helpful on dates or even during foreplay if the girl isn't your ideal type.
I've picked up girls that didn't initially turn me on but found something about them that turned me on when we met up.